


To The Ocean

by FairyLights101



Series: The Things I'd Do For You [7]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Tragedy, Canon, Canon Universe, Death, Erejean Week, Erejean Week 2015, M/M, Ocean, Regret, Sad, erejean - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 10:12:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3688332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyLights101/pseuds/FairyLights101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Salt filled the air, carried by a strong breeze that tugged on his hair and clothes as he struggled up the hill, body threatening to give out as he planted one foot before the other, slow and unsteady. He'd left his maneuvering gear behind - it would have slowed him down even more, made the journey that much harder.</p><p>Jean squeezed one of the legs wrapped around his wake, that familiar warmth of the body pressed against him cooler than usual. "Hey Eren," he gasped, "We're almost there. Can you smell it? I can taste it on my lips, feel it on my face." His words were panted out but strong - the one thing he needed to be now more than ever before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To The Ocean

**Author's Note:**

> EreJean Week, Day 7: Ocean

Salt filled the air, carried by a strong breeze that tugged on his hair and clothes as he struggled up the hill, body threatening to give out as he planted one foot before the other, slow and unsteady. He'd left his maneuvering gear behind - it would have slowed him down even more, made the journey that much harder.

Jean squeezed one of the legs wrapped around his wake, that familiar warmth of the body pressed against him cooler than usual. "Hey Eren," he gasped, "We're almost there. Can you smell it? I can taste it on my lips, feel it on my face." His words were panted out but strong - the one thing he needed to be now more than ever before.

The body slumped across his back stirred slightly, fingers weakly tightening and muscles shifting loosely. A quiet, unsteady breath rattled in his ear, barely strong enough to stir the blonde hairs. Slender digits tightened against Jean's collarbones as Eren pressed a little closer, seeking out the warmth he lacked for once.

"It's not like anything I've ever smelled before… Indescribable, right? But good too. Means we made it. We beat 'em… killed the last of the Titans"

Jean stumbled and his pace faltered for a moment before he righted himself. It was hard to plant one foot before the other, nearly impossible really. But he had to. He had to make it to the top of that hill, to the wonders that lay just beyond, ones they had never seen before. Well, outside of dreams at least.

"Damn… I should have stolen a horse. Can't believe you're so impatient that you couldn't fucking wait. You… You always wanna be first… or next. Never last. Idiot. Why can't you be last for  _this_?"

When Jean licked his lips, the taste of salt filled his parched mouth, though this time it wasn't because of sweat or meat. No, it was because of the rough breeze that tugged at the tall green swathes of grass that rippled around them with each gust. It was like standing in a lake - or perhaps an ocean - of grass, just far less mysterious and unknown. Or maybe it didn't look like the ocean. Maybe the ocean was completely different, some other kind of thing altogether. Somehow, Jean just  _knew_  that Armin's books did that unfathomable expanse of salty water no justice at all.

Jean hitched Eren up a little higher onto his back, elbows tightening against the Titan Shifter's sides to keep him from slipping every time he was jostled. It elicited a tiny whimper, one that was barely audible above the wind but still jabbed into Jean's gut, knocking out what little breath he still had. "Sorry, sorry… I'm trying."

Every step was a struggle, an unfeasible task between the exhaustion dragging at his limbs, the scream of his muscles with every movement, and the heavy weight on his back. But he persisted. He forced himself to plant one foot, then the other. To hold tight to Eren, to count his own heartbeats, to focus on the top of the hill.

"You're gonna owe me so fucking much for this, ya hear? I don't care how you pay me back - actually, scratch that. Pay me back by moving here… Together. We'll… We'll build a cabin on the top of this damn hill. Close to the ocean. I know you'll love it. I know… We'll be there soon."

Weak fingers fluttered against his neck as soft lips twitched up against his ear before Eren's head lolled into the curve of Jean's neck with a soft moan. His legs tightened against Jean's hips and his fingers clenched, one of the few strong movements he'd managed in a while. Jean grimaced as his hands tightened on Eren's legs with a gentle squeeze. His pace quickened as much as it possibly could, but it was still slow, too fucking slow.

"I know it hurts. I'm sorry. But just hold on a little longer, you dumb bastard. You haven't quit before so don't you dare do it now." Jean staggered as one of his knees buckled for a moment. His foot caught against something, catching him off balance. The ground rushed to meet him and he couldn't do a damn thing about it.

A tan hand shot out and hit the ground first, immediately followed by a gut-wrenching crack before they both crashed to the ground. The body on his back tumbled to the side as they rolled apart in the dirt and grass. Rocks smashed against Jean's body, driving in to tender muscles and bones.

Dazed, Jean stared blankly up at the cloudless blue expanse above him, mystified as to why he was there, why he hurt so much. Everything connected after a second and the blonde scrambled over to Eren, gasping apologies despite the fact that the wind had been knocked out of him.

Those turquoise eyes were clenched shut and his face was pale, beads of sweat rolling down the clammy skin. The hand that had caught them was crooked, the bone jutting out against the skin in an ugly break. It was a miracle that it hadn't broken through the skin. Even so, no steam curled up from it, his healing powers too focused on the poison that coursed through his veins. Tiny curls of that steam spilled from his bloody mouth, slow and leisurely, as if they had all the time in the world.  _Not enough. There's not enough_.

Numb fingers slid across the cool skin of Eren's cheeks as he leaned close until he could smell the blood, sharp and bitter. "Eren, I know it hurts, but you're gonna have to get on my back again." Dazed summer-green orbs blinked up at him. Chapped, bloodied lips moved without a word, only a breathy rattle escaping him. But Eren held his arms up, even as his face twisted with raw agony that he normally never would have shown.

Jean pulled the Titan Shifter onto his back as gently as he could, but every quiet whimper made his breath catch and his heart lurch. The pace he set when he started walking again was positively brutal. The muscles in his legs went numb - hell, the feeling throughout his body faded, the exhaustion too much as he focused his mind on that one task, blocking out every ache and pain and anything else. The conversation he'd managed to keep up throughout the ascent faltered away, all of his breath going into one more step, into quickening his speed just a little more.

Everything blurred - the terrain, the sounds, the heat. Nothing made sense except for the limp form on his back and the absurd need to reach the top, to let Eren see it all at least once. And then the ground became flat beneath his unsteady, senseless feet. He almost didn't notice it, not until the just-noticeable burn in his calves lessened ever-so-slightly. Light brown eyes shot up from the ground that had been seared into his mind as his feet stilled.

Before him, the hill dropped away in a steep slope, more of a cliff really, down to sandy beaches and rocks that jutted out from the water and sand. Heavy waves crashed against the shore only to sink back with ease before they rushed up to do it again, forever breaking against the rocks and shore and tipped with froth and foam. It was like any lake Jean had ever seen, but infinitely different at the same time from the color to the scent to the sound of crashing waves.

Salty spray caught in the wind settled on his face, coating his lips and clinging to his face, disgustingly sticky. The scent filled his nose, foreign though the scent of salt and water were familiar - something else filled the air, something he didn't know. It stretched so much further than a lake, as far as the eye could see and disappearing beyond the horizon in three directions, beyond the edges of the earth where it vanished into the unknown.  _Beautiful_.

His hand tightened on Eren's thigh as he gaped at the sight, mouth spread open like a fool. "Eren… look… it's the ocean."

No movement. No response.

Jean's veins flooded with ice as he sank down and slowly eased the prone figure from his back. The young man was limp, his eyes shut and jacket bloody from the stab-wound. Trembling fingers brushed across Eren's cool skin, tracing over the curves of his face before they settled against his neck, feeling for a pulse. He crouched there for a second, waiting.

Ten seconds.

A minute.

Five minutes.

No faint pulse of a heart, not even one as weak as it had been earlier. It was just… gone.

His hand remained frozen over that cool skin as his other fisted up into Eren's jacket, heedless of the still-damp cloth. Their foreheads pressed together as Jean's eyes clamped shut, unwilling to see the truth spread out right in front of him, unable to accept what he knew. Trembling lips parted. The first attempt to speak ended in a pathetic wheeze. The second was no better. He managed to get it right on the third time, to force the words from his uncooperating throat.

"Did you see it? The… the ocean?" The thing Eren had talked of incessantly ever since their trainee days. The thing that made his turquoise eyes light up and smile smile infinitely brighter as he dreamed of far off places and endless stretches of salty waters filled with all sorts of strange, wondrous creatures. The thing that gave him hope. What they had slowly bonded over and promised to see together, along with the others in the squad - the ones that survived at least.

Jean inhaled, eyes burning as he breathed in that familiar scent, spicy and musky with sweat and salt and blood mixing in with it. "I never got to tell you I loved you…"

Such declarations were bold and rare in a world full of Titans. But they were gone now, completely wiped off the face of the earth as far as they knew.  _And so it Eren_. Now he could never say it, never tell the dumb, suicidal bastard just how much he meant.

Jean sank back onto his legs while his fingers trailed across Eren's body, along his neck before they settled on his cheek. Those bloody lips were twitched up into a soft smile, one that was peaceful,  _happy_. No agony. No fear. Just… tranquility.

The blonde stared at that smile, uncomprehending for the longest time before it finally clicked in his weary mind. He bowed over Eren and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "You're here now. You see it."


End file.
